FOUR MORE S+ ASSOCIATION LAUNCH SPEAKERS:
Emma Hartmand, Scott Jordan, CK Nam and Logan Star
EMMA HARTMAND, Dominium Vita co-founder (S+ launch photo: Tony Mitchell)
EMMA HARTMAND (co-founder, Dominium Vita)
The challenges of starting a sex-positive event? It’s hard to get a bank, hard to get venues… but one of the hardest things not talked about enough is the emotional toll of starting such an event. This was the first point made by Emma (above).
Describing herself as “a sex worker for 10 years, mostly as a professional dominatrix”, the Dominium Vita co-founder confessed that when she started, “the power that I had when holding someone else’s sexual experiences literally in my hand… I maybe didn’t know the gravitas of what I was wielding at that point”.
And, she explained, she worried that a lot of event hosts have the same thought process about their events now.
“When I started my event two-and-a-half years ago, I wondered, was there anything else I could have done? Did I not know enough? Was anyone who came to any of my events and entrusted themselves to me left with any emotional or physical damage? Did I do enough, really?
“S+ has been so eye-opening and fulfilling,” she continued. I know now that new events opening up are hopefully not going to have that same fear that I had.
“They’re gonna have some guidance notes that push people along, not necessarily laying
down the law but saying “here’s a starting point”. I hope people take that and grow from it and go on their own journeys from it.
“Another big challenge is the emotional weight they carry themselves. It’s really hard doing this job, running these events, working in these events and knowing people’s livelihoods and their wellbeing is quite literally in the palm of your hand sometimes.
“Having this group of people has been really good for me. Having this Association where we can all hold hands and go ‘kumbaya’ is set to be really game-changing. The influx of people since covid has been completely game-changing.
“I was a partygoer for about eight years before we started DV and the way the world has changed in that time… we need to hold each other’s hands as people that work in this industry.
“It’s new, its scary, and there’s a lot more people that don’t understand the unwritten rules that used to be scribbled on Electrowerkz’s toilet doors! Now there’s this whole new world of education we have a responsibility for.
“And it’s so much harder but it’s so much more exciting. And being part of this with all you guys tonight, I really hope we can carry it on and go further and see where it goes!”
SCOTT JORDAN (community manager, Electrowerkz)
SCOTT JORDAN, community manager, Electrowerkz (S+ launch photo: Tony Mitchell)
Scott began by explaining that he has two roles: he runs the leather and fetish night that’s a replacement for Backstreet, and also helps to vet new people coming in [to Electrowerkz] to run clubs.
“My first event was the one that I ran, and it was terrifying. The sex-positive world was brand new. I needed to know: where the fuck do I get lube? Where do I find all this stuff? It’s mind-blowing.
“From the Electrowerkz point of view, even though we are a sex-positive club, we are not a sex club.
“We want to make sure that we have a well-rounded programme. So coming into our club [as an event] isn’t the easiest.”
Scott explained that as a venue, Electrowerkz
wants to be able to see from promoters’ club nights how they handle everything.
“We want to know that you have the right welfare officers, you’ve done your bits n bobs, you’ve done all the training, and you can look after your community as well as possible.
“Because we get so many enquiries daily [from people] that want to start a new night and have a sex room. And it’s a trust thing; we just don’t know that promoter.
“So if we can have something from this team that’s accredited — that you get a little certificate that you’ve passed, that you’ve done all the checklist — that would really help a venue like us with getting new nights in. We have quite a few, including Torture Garden, and we have more coming in.
CK NAM (Burning Nest/MicroBurn/London Decompression)
CK NAM of Burning Nest, Microburn and London Decompression (S+ launch photo: Tony Mitchell)
The Consent Lead for three officially ‘Burning Man affiliated’ events in the UK, CK Nam explained that he was speaking at the launch to present some of the membership benefits of S+ Association.
“As a team we’ve worked really hard in the background to provide numerous documents on how to run events legally and safely. There’s a load of info about how to find your venues, what actually is a sex entertainment venue licence, and do you actually need one? And so on.
“And also there’s lots of info if you’re starting out, relatively new or thinking about running an event. That info is held by so many people who’ve got years upon years of experience, and it’s an option you’ve got if you wish to join us.
“As a monitor myself, I work in a variety of events, so for me it’s information available to you that can improve your standards, improve your experience.
“If you’ve only worked in one or two events — for example events that are kink-orientated — maybe you’re not used to what happens in more sex-orientated clubs. Or maybe gay clubs. So by having access to that knowledge, by gaining that experience and training, you can upskill yourself, and guess what, you can get more work.”
It would obviously be desirable, he added, for everyone to be able to meet a decent baseline of safety and legal standard compliance.
“It’s great to see lots of people here at this launch and this is something we want to
continue — to have a lot more networking, a lot more socials to bring us together.
“I don’t recall in my 17 years in the kink community having seen in one place so many amazing people, movers and shakers, people that actually make the events happen, actually make fun happen.
“In addition to best practices, networking info and the ability to network, what we also have is a dispute resolution scheme.
“So if there is some form of complaint or issue with one of our member organisations or a member monitor, we can help guide them through some form of resolution.”
It hasn’t been tested yet “because no one’s complained”, CK admitted. “But if we as event organisers or monitors have a complaint made against us, what do we do? I can’t investigate myself, and it’s really difficult to investigate other operators and organisers.
“So having a slightly more independent group to be able to overview and deal with that gives you a better resolution and is better for the community in terms of the recognised level of transparency involved.
“Can you imagine a vision where we together lobby local councils, licensing authorities, the police etc? They need to stop looking at us so closely when we are doing everything very legally, very safely — yet on Friday and Saturday nights in any UK town or city centre, we know what happens.
“We are much safer than them. So get together with us and hopefully we can do that pushing!”
LOGAN STAR (co-founder, Quench)
LOGAN STAR AND LILY, co-founders of Quench (S+ launch photo: Tony Mitchell)
Logan began his talk by asking the audience how many play parties they thought there were in London in a year, and how many guests they thought attended. After various wildly differing guesses were pitched back to him from the crowd, he suggested the conclusion was obvious.
“We can see there’s a serious safeguarding issue. But what is the definition of safeguarding? What is a safeguarder? I’ve got this written down:
“A person who monitors and protects the health and wellbeing of guests and spaces. Someone who upholds the rules and ethos of an event with integrity, keeping safety and consent at the forefront of our decision-making at all times.
“As other colleagues have said here, standardisation is super-important. One of my favourite sayings is: ‘a wise person is the person that plants a tree that they will never feel ashamed of’’.
“Let’s be honest, we’re not going to be here in a hundred years but our grandkids will be, and the next people. But it is the people who came before us in the ’90s that made it possible.
“So it’s really important that we don’t just use diversity and safety as throwaway words — it’s super important we’ve actually lived the thing that we’re preaching.
“Whether that is how much you pay monitors — that we don’t haggle and do the whole ‘under London living wage’ thing. This is some people’s full-time work and they deserve to be paid for that.
“We need to think about the skills that monitors need in spaces, how you need to be able to quickly adapt to whatever the case may be. You need to be able to overcome a language barrier, a mentality barrier, whatever. To always be on your toes.
“So my first request is that every single time you’re at a play party, you look at the monitors, and you give them respect. It’s so important. They do their nine-to-five and then they go, like, eleven-to-five.
“Also I want to speak about management and community. It’s not just us — you’ve got so many different parties, and our thing is that were not doing capitalism, it’s not like ‘we’re gonna do your night so you’re fucked’.
“If we really honestly work together — and we wanna be together, not on Instagram chatting shit about one another — we need to believe in change, otherwise we’re doomed as a society.
“We’re constantly battling UK laws and constantly dealing with what’s ethical versus what’s legally allowed. So it’s super important that as organisations — we are different communities, not one homogenous group — we work together and we get this shit done!”
splusassociation.org.uk
Tags: Business Matters, Community, Legal, Sex-Positive Events
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