DARK STARS: Dornan and Johnson trying their best not to be recognised in Fifty Shades Darker
Fifty Shades Darker: surprisingly,
it’s even worse than expected.
Directed by: James Foley
Stars: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan
(Universal Pictures, UK cert 18)
Reviewed by Leyla Mikkelsen
The second installment in the film adaptations of what started out as Twilight fan fiction typed out on E L James’ Blackberry has found its way to cinema screens across the globe.
After dumping Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) because he overstepped her boundaries, Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) soon finds herself at the receiving end of his attention once again.
This time, Anastasia hopes that she can connect with Christian as a person, thereby making their connection emotional instead of merely physical. However, ghosts from his past begin to turn up, making it evident that winning him over will not be an easy task.
It can be difficult to remain objective when something is as widely ridiculed as the Fifty Shades books and movies.
Being my first direct encounter with the franchise, I therefore tried my utmost to find any positive elements to highlight, and while the film did manage to surprise me, it was only in the sense that it was even worse than I expected.
There is some decent talent among the cast and crew, but apparently the hilariously terrible writing of franchise creator E L James is so atrocious that it has contaminated any talent associated with the film and given it the pop culture equivalent of syphilis, rendering director James Foley incapable of making an even remotely compelling film.
Only the flimsiest of frameworks is applied to the meandering narrative, and because the writing is as bad as it is, there is no sense of tension or energy, which in turn makes the pacing even slower, somehow warping the runtime to feel substantially longer than its actual two hours.
The characters are horrendous, and not in the sense that they are interestingly flawed or villainous. Instead, they are completely devoid of any characteristics that would make them relatable on a human level, making them feel more like cartoonish caricatures of soap opera archetypes.
Anastasia Steele is supposed to be the shrinking violet who is just the medicine tortured soul Christian Grey needs, but her character is in fact a bland, insecure pushover who finds herself preyed upon by the billionaire-turned-stalker.
He is in turn supposed to be brooding and intense, but he is in fact just a controlling, abusive creep, who spends the film manipulating Anastasia.
The two leads also have no chemistry, making it rather awkward to see them go through the motions with scenarios and dialogue so poorly written that both I and other audience members could not help but laugh in disbelief.
Some would of course argue that people merely watch these films for the sex scenes. However, the sex scenes are again absolutely devoid of any buildup or chemistry.
The film also promises that the scenes will be enticingly taboo and risqué, but just as the characters and story are tremendously bland, the sex scenes are also very tame, showing once again that E L James has absolutely no idea about what erotica entails.
Instead, the sex in the film is played extremely safe with only the vaguest hints of kink, just as the scenes are also so short that it looks suspiciously like the filmmakers were only trying to do just enough to trigger an 18 rating rather than attempting anything actually salacious.
Fan fiction has never been known to be a literary cornerstone, but instead of remaining a way for fans to create an outlet for their lust for fictional characters, E L James has exploited it to an unprecedented extent.
Having only the most basic of writing skills and a grasp of kink so laughable you would think the franchise was created by a teenager with no internet access, the author has made a name for herself by exploiting people’s willingness to latch on to anything that may pass as socially acceptable smut.
However, you do not have to spend much time looking around for this type of entertainment to learn that not only do much more worthwhile books and films exist, but Fifty Shades is also highly problematic in how it romanticises abusive relationship behaviour.
There is a reason why the meme says that ‘Fifty Shades is only romantic because he is a billionaire; if he was living in a trailer, it would be a Criminal Minds episode’.
This is neither romance nor erotica; this is a caricature of an abusive relationship, and if a guy like Christian Grey comes into your life, instead of trying to change him, you should probably change your locks.
Reviewer’s verdict: 1 out of 10.
The original version of this review appeared in Leyla Mikkelsen’s blog Mikkelsen’s Musings, at:
mikkelsensmusings.wordpress.com
For more information about the reviewer, see the dropdown panel below.
Leyla Mikkelsen has a substantial background in linguistics and communication, but says she has always absorbed anything pertaining to pop culture like a sponge.
However, her true love is cinema, and thus she started a passion project in the form of her blog Mikkelsen’s Musings, where she has made a commitment to review as many films receiving a wide UK cinematic release as she possibly can.
Aside from her blog, she also reviews movies for Fortean Times magazine.
Tags: Mainstream film releases
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