ANKITA MISHRA, Forget Me Not’s intro author, left, poses with Helena and the book’s standard and special editions, the latter featuring latex jacket crafted by Am Statik (photo: Tony Mitchell)
Malicious tease, or enjoying men’s torment
There’s a suggestion in Ankita’s text that Calmfors indulges in a “malicious tease” with the viewer — the end goal being torment. That’s quite a loaded description, and I ask Calmfors if this is a direct quote from her.
“I believe Ankita phrased it like this after hearing me explain my point of view — and it’s a perfect phrase,” says Helena. “I do enjoy the idea of men’s torment, though I’m less interested in a purely sensual tease.
“What fascinates me more is the psychological aspect and how tension, control and anticipation can become their own kind of torment. Especially paired with denial.”
The explanation given in the foreword is that Helena’s “desire for control and pleasure in baiting” comes from experiences as a queer woman. But, I ask, wouldn’t many straight women identify with it too, in a world where women still struggle for equality in all aspects of their lives?
“Absolutely, this perspective certainly applies to a lived experience as a woman,” she agrees. “But as a femme-presenting queer woman I think the objectification can be even more intrusive and pervasive.
“Living with that constant frustration could easily turn to bitterness without an outlet to redirect it.
“By turning men’s objectification back on them, watching the power shift and the façade begin to crumble, gives at least a momentary sense of satisfaction in resisting the patriarchy.”
There is extensive use of flowers in Calmfors’ photography, providing contrast with the “hardness” of her fetish/BDSM costumes. It imbues her work with a very recognisable trademark, establishing a degree of originality that distinguishes it from practically everyone else’s fetish imagery.
A blossoming taste for Matières Fécales
I tell her that the only similar approach I’ve encountered was in the recent Paris Fashion Week SS 2026 runway show by Paris-based design duo Matières Fécales, aka Fecal Matter. Of course, she knows exactly what I’m referring to.
MATIÈRES FÉCALES designer Hannah models flower-adorned gown during Paris Fashion Week
“I loved their show and I’ve followed them for quite a while! It was amazing — from the design and the use of flowers to the make-up and their choice of models. The way they challenge and expand the idea of beauty is genius.”
The Forget Me Not foreword suggests the flowers in Calmfors’ images are a metaphor for the artist’s inner conflicts, perhaps around finding that she needs to acknowledge simultaneous softness and hardness in her personality and outlook.
But how much of a conscious decision was it to make the flowers an enduring signature of her work?
“I don’t know that it was a conscious decision as much as a theme that developed organically over time,” is her reply. “The use of flowers came to represent several overlapping ideas for me.
“Part of it is about challenging how BDSM is typically portrayed: it’s often reduced to something cold and hard, when in reality there are also moments of softness, care and vulnerability within those dynamics.
“The flowers also function as a symbol of how women are seen and valued in this world, that our beauty is somehow fleeting and consumable as opposed to intrinsic.”
Latex ‘as a membrane’ in Dress Up images
Another assertion in her book’s foreword is that Calmfors uses latex “as a membrane” between her body and “the feminine” … as a way of “sidestepping the clothes in a big way before putting them on”.
LACE DRESS evokes softness that can also occur in BDSM interplay (photo: Helena Calmfors)
Could she expand on this a little? Is this a specific reference to the Dress Up images where latex is mixed with garments in other fabrics such as satin? Yes, she says, it is.
“This connects directly to the Dress Up series and what I mentioned earlier. Those floral prints and soft materials become a symbol for how femininity is expected to be performed and perceived.
“For me, the latex acts as a membrane or barrier that allows me to engage with those symbols while questioning what femme identity can be.”
Elsewhere, Calmors’ quoted rationale for the use of hoods and masks in images is that “you can be more yourself if you’re hidden”. This of course, lies at the very heart of much mask/hood-wearing in fetish/BDSM activities.
But would she also accept that these items are also very commonly used not to ‘become yourself’, but to ‘become someone else’, or in certain submissive fantasies, to ‘become nothing’ — a ‘non-person’?
“When the face is hidden,” she responds, “the focus shifts to what’s being worn and what that represents. I find it fascinating how clothing, especially latex, can completely transform how you feel, how you carry yourself and how others see you.
“You can be more yourself when you are anonymous or concealed rather than when you’re forced to confront expectations of how you are supposed to be. Anonymity can give you the freedom to explore your own identity without that constant negotiation.
“So for me the use of masks or hoods isn’t about submission but about exploring what femme identity can be when you are not subject to expectations.”
HOOD VALUE: ‘You can be more yourself when you are anonymous’ (photo: Helena Calmfors)
Channelling frustration with the male gaze
It’s suggested in Forget Me Not that Helena’s desire for control arose from the sense that women’s queer relationships were/are fetishised in the media as “the ultimate pleasure for men”.
But would it be wrong to assume that her affinity for kink stretches further back than the point at which she reached that specific realisation? Were there what might be called ‘earlier stirrings’ that she only later recognised for what they really were?
“It [the affinity for kink] is intertwined with a very early realisation of how unfair and frustrating the world is as a woman. It is 100 percent tied to a need to change that pattern, that structure.
“I despised the male gaze since my early teens, and that frustration needed to be channelled somewhere. Femdom has brought me much peace in this regard.”
Of the various artistic influences mentioned in Forget Me Not, the iconic vintage publications Exotique, Bizarre and AtomAge are probably most relevant to our conversation.
So I ask: When did Helena first encounter any of these, and does she also admire any of the vintage fetish artists such as Stanton and John Willie? And what about the more modern fetish art or photography pioneered by magazines like Skin Two?
“I’ve always loved illustration,” she explains. “It started out with fashion illustrations, and early on, my drawings probably leaned more in that direction.
“I came across the vintage fetish magazines in my twenties when I was already in the scene and immediately loved the artistic element added to the magazines.
“And yes, of course I’ve seen Skin Two! I still need to add it to my physical collection of magazines though. If only I knew its former editor…
“I think my fetish inspirations came less from specific artists and more from cultural moments. Die Form’s music, the film Maitresse and music videos from the early 2000s.”
She reveals that the music video for No Doubt’s 2003 cover of Talk Talk’s It’s My Life is one of those that had a big impact on her.
DOMME ATTITUDE: Gwen Stefani playing a serial husband killer in No Doubt’s It’s My Life video
“In the video, Gwen Stefani kills off her different husbands in creative ways, and I was obsessed with the domme attitude portrayed in that. Especially the hairdryer thrown in the bathtub. Electroplay is not foreign to me!”
Final thoughts: the current kink scene
We’re near the end of our conversation now, and I’m anxious to finish with some sense of my interviewee’s feelings about the current kink scene.
For example, how does she think the fetish and BDSM social scenes/communities in NYC are holding up in the national political atmosphere, and how do her impressions of the London scene compare?
“I think finding lesbian-specific play spaces is hard,” Helena admits. “I really enjoyed the One Night party in London for example, and would love to see something like that in New York.
“There are smaller groups, but you can’t really advertise play parties the same way it seems to be done in the UK. The fact that I could go to a femdom party at a venue like Electroworkz wouldn’t happen in New York.
“In London I also sense a more connected and personal community. In general, I’ve always found New York and the US to have a lot of surface, but challenging to find that real gritty substance underneath.
“Then you also have the trend of fetish wear and fetish themed parties that are not actually connected to the subculture at all. So it’s almost either underground or commercialised — but I don’t know if London has had a similar development.”
Helena Calmfors interview: principal links
Helena Calmfors Website
Helena Calmfors Instagram
Helena Calmfors BlueSky
Charmskool Showroom Instagram
Ankita Mishra/SPRNGVLVT Website
Ankita Mishra/SPRNGVLVT Facebook
Forget Me Not/Circa.Press
Forget Me Not/Fetishistas Review
Forget Me Not launch party pix: Charmskool Showroom
BELOW: Helena Calmfors and some of the folk who helped celebrate publication of Forget Me Not
CLICK/TAP either preview to open its gallery, then click/tap any thumbnail to start slideshow
Tags: Artists, Book Releases, Photographers
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