Club Subversion’s announcement of its impending return to the London party scene in June will certainly have been welcomed by many of the capital’s fetish clubbers — writes Tony Mitchell.
But the location of its new venue might not be the best news for everyone. For Crystals nightclub nestles in the bosom of Crystal Palace Football Club at one corner of Selhurst Park Stadium in the depths of south London.
Promised features of the new setting include a huge playroom, separate dance room, viewing gallery, loads of seating, trample cage, separate medical area and private (not overlooked) smoking area.
There will also be resident masters, mistresses and slaves, a latex shine station, and a DJ line-up consisting of Latex Zebra, Simon Iridium, Reverent Mac and The UnderCover Brother.
However, given that many fetish clubbers seem unwilling to go south of the Thames unless they can actually still see the river from the venue’s front entrance, I can’t help wondering how enticing the club’s boast of being ‘only 25 minutes from central London’ will prove.
Especially for pervs without their own wheels who have to rely on public transport.
But with the nearest one of these at least 0.5km from Crystals as the crow flies — and a lot further as the high heels totter — this particular triangle could prove rather too Bermudarish for some tastes.
Choosing a place so off the beaten track (fnar-fnar), the organisers must surely be banking on most of their customers arriving by car. There is certainly a big enough car park right across the road, with free parking for 300 vehicles.
It’s also very convenient for Sainsbury’s, as long as you get there before 10pm. But I don’t think I’ll comment on what you might find at the Tasty Jerk Centre just along Whitehorse Road, beyond noting that it might have some competition when Subversion’s in town.
Subversion takes place on June 12 between 9.30pm and 5am at Crystals, 120-122 Whitehorse Lane, London SE25 6XB. Early bird tickets are sold out, but advance tickets are still available at £20, with admission on the door at £25.